


all this and heaven too

by xladysaya



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Happy Birthday Tsukki, M/M, like please dont let the summary fool you because its all fluff, loads and loads of fluff, they're both sappy mofos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-18 04:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16111175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xladysaya/pseuds/xladysaya
Summary: He remembers his old insecurities, the fear that Kuroo might leave or grow tired of him. Tsukishima can't imagine it now, but maybe the ghost of those feelings never truly fades.At the end of the day, Tsukishima still lets himself feel vulnerable, and Kuroo is there to make it all okay.





	all this and heaven too

**Author's Note:**

> YEEES IT'S THE BEST BOY'S BIRTHDAY! I figured the best present is to have his bf be super cheesy, so this kurotsuki was born lol. Seriously, Tsukishima is my favorite character in hq and he deserves all the love, so I'm happy I was able to write this for his special day *cries* I hope you all enjoy! Thanks to [EmeraldWaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/pseuds/EmeraldWaves) for reading this over!

The words slip out of him without him realizing.

They're in the kitchen, he and Kuroo, making an absolute mess Tsukishima will surely have to deal with in the morning in order to make his breakfast. But right now, it's fine, more than fine.

There's cookie dough stuck to the fridge and the counters from their impromptu food fight, and Tsukishima giggles as he picks the last of a decent sized cookie-ball out of Kuroo's hair.

Then (because at this point, who cares about risks) he dips his other hand into the mixing bowl, eating a way more than advised scoop of the stuff.

There's way more than they need, but Tsukishima puts it in the fridge to set anyways. Besides, this means another night like this, cozy, just the two of them. The lights in their kitchen are cheap and make him squint sometimes, but Kuroo dimmed them hours ago, and the glow makes him feel safe, at home.

Or that might just be Kuroo.

Tsukishima licks his lips at the sweet taste, the graininess making him sigh. He could eat buckets of the stuff, provided they don't end up all over him.

The damage isn't enough to make him upset though, and it's a feeling he can say only manifests around Kuroo. That, no worries, no rush, type of feeling.

They'll clean later, they'll do laundry later. Right now they can just be, and Tsukishima sits on his barstool, looking at Kuroo from across their small kitchen island.

Kuroo doesn't even try to tell him about how sick he could get from eating raw cookie dough, he just stares at Tsukishima fondly, chest still heaving from the exertion as he leans his weight on strong arms. The ones Tsukishima loves to reach out for at night, to cling to.

The ones which had gotten some  _good_  hits in. At that, Tsukishima pouts.

"All that because I said you'd be the first one to die in the Alien franchise?" Tsukishima asks, and he tries to keep his smile smug, he really does, but it ends up quivering and curling into a happy grin, accompanied by laughter he can't even hide behind his soiled hands.

Kuroo melts, and sinks his head down to Tsukishima's level, until they look like grade schoolers, staring at each other when they're not supposed to, over the tops of crossed arms. "It was a direct attack on my honor."

"I'm sorry," Tsukishima whispers, but he's not, not at all.

"No you're not."

And of course Kuroo knows that. His boyfriend's eyes crinkle at the corners, and Tsukishima can imagine the grin, thousand watt, and for whatever reason it makes him want to cry.

Tsukishima doesn't cry. Not ever. Certainly not when romance is concerned.

But most of his firsts are Kuroo's to claim, so it only seems appropriate. Tsukishima loves his smile, but he's seen it before, too many times. It's always turned his way.

This one is different though, because it's so normal, so familiar.

It makes no sense, but Tsukishima had learned to be more accepting of contradictions.

They're in their small grad student apartment at midnight, making cookies on impulse and discussing their battle plans for fictional horror scenarios. It's not a weird night. This is how they are.

Tsukishima reaches out then, and he knows Kuroo will take the hint. Tsukishima has never gotten over all his strange hesitations, and he leaves his sticky hand between them until Kuroo's fingers hook around his pinkie.

Tsukishima likes this time of the night, because hardly any cars pass by their too thin windows, most of their old neighbors are asleep. It's quiet, suffocatingly so for some, but Tsukishima soaks it in, and lets his mind be filled with nothing else but his boyfriend.

He doesn't mean to, it just does that now. Has for a while.

"What are you thinking about?" Kuroo mumbles, face still planted against his arm, and he plays with Tsukishima's hand, bouncing his fingers up and down.

Kuroo hasn't stopped smiling, Tsukishima can tell. It warms him to the bone, coupled with the quiet, and the smell of chocolate chips in the air.

To say 'I love you' feels wrong in the moment. It's not enough.

He never wants to not have this; stupid conversations about terrible movies, in depth daydreams they share with each other, light touches, lustful gazes, everything. The momentary panic over losing them one day is too much. Not only because Kuroo is Kuroo, and all the amazing, lovable things that entails, but for the simple fact Tsukishima needs this feeling like water.

It's then Tsukishima puts a name to the feeling of the night, and he wants to roll his eyes at how simple and childish it is. Fun. He's having fun. He's  _been_  having fun since he's met Kuroo, years ago, even sitting in a dingy section of the library pouring through articles for some disorganized professor, when they were too stressed to do much but exchange tic-tac-toe moves between pages.

A lump builds in Tsukishima's throat, and he stares at the chipped wood beneath their hands, curling his fingers in return, so Kuroo knows he's on planet Earth, that he's grounded.

Kuroo likes to know that.

He remembers old insecurities, the fear Kuroo would leave or grow tired of him. He can't imagine now, but, maybe the ghost of those feelings never goes away.

This exhilaration of simply being around Kuroo is not something Tsukishima thinks he'll ever be able to accurately explain. Not if he had a thousand years, all the research and resources in the world. He'd throw out draft after draft, and nothing would feel right.

He wants to  _want_  like this forever, and his eyes water with tears he won't allow himself to shed, and Kuroo finally lifts his head from his arms.

His eyes are wide, puzzled; he's sensed it. Kuroo watches him so closely, it's no wonder. The raven tilts his head, concern already twisting his grin into a frown. It's almost more powerful this way, it makes Tsukishima want to cross hell to bring the smile back.

So, it's no wonder the words slip out of him without him realizing, and he holds his breath immediately after reaching out to touch the back of his hand against Kuroo's cheek. “I hope our love never gets boring.”

It's a pathetic little whisper, and his voice cracks at the end, like it can't possibly get any smaller, and he shivers. He tries so hard not to hiccup, his pride isn't that beaten down yet, and now shame creeps up on him.

He would've phrased it better, if he weren't so bad with words. He's not Kuroo.

Kuroo, who is so gentle with him, and would never say something potentially heartbreaking.

_Please don't be sad_ , Tsukishima finds himself thinking as his shoulders tense.  _Please don't think that I..._

"I hope it does," Kuroo says simply, unperturbed, and Tsukishima's eyes widen as his boyfriend stares way too lovingly at where their hands are connected. Kuroo is a lot quieter in his declarations than people would believe.

People are often wrong about Kuroo, and Tsukishima takes pride in being one of the only people in his life who can truly pick up on the other's tendencies. His shy approach, a gentle one, is one of Tsukishima's favorites. It's also Kuroo's default, after his boisterous attitude and confidence of the day has melted off. When he's ready to come home and rest, to just exist.

With Tsukishima, every single time. Together.

In moments like this, Tsukishima remembers all those things, because Kuroo isn't loud or insistent in his tone, he's being honest, and he probably knows it's what's best for Tsukishima too. Tsukishima, with his weird fears which he already can tell are unfounded.

When Kuroo lifts his gaze, it's so easy to see how wrong he is. But regardless, Tsukishima's face twists in confusion; what is Kuroo on about now?

It's sure to make Tsukishima's heart burst, and he's often not ready for these answers.

But Kuroo goes ahead anyways, unstoppable.

Kuroo crosses the island in a few short steps, the excitement laced in his voice more than Tsukishima can possibly bear. "I want us to be the most boring couple ever, repeating the same stories and forgetting how many times we've talked about the same thing." Then Kuroo pauses, looking up at the ceiling as he pulls Tsukishima closer. They're still almost the same height, but Tsukishima thinks Kuroo likes making himself smaller, so his words and breath hit Tsukishima's neck between kisses. "But...if you're thinking we'll run out of stuff to talk about, I don't think that's possible. I can talk about paint drying with you and it would be  _riveting_."

"Riveting?" Tsukishima repeats, his voice a mix of begrudgingly touched and amused.

"Well, yeah," Kuroo says, because it must be oh so obvious, and Tsukishima can't help but agree. Conversations with Kuroo have never been lackluster. Sometimes, Tsukishima just likes to hear his voice go on and on, doesn't matter about what. But...

But nothing, because as soon as the fear crosses Tsukishima's mind, Kuroo is there to take care of it too, intercepting it with unmatched finesse. Love.

"And if you think I'd ever get tired of you...that's just--it's not  _ever_  going to happen," Kuroo says, and Tsukishima bumps their foreheads together; he has to do the initiating sometimes. When Kuroo is quiet, his physical affection skyrockets. But when he's pouring his heart out like this...

It's like they're back to their first date, where Kuroo hesitates even holding Tsukishima's hand. His courage falters, and Tsukishima understands. Kuroo can't do it all at once, but Tsukishima has become better at bridging the initial gap. As soon as their foreheads touch, Kuroo sighs in relief, pulls Tsukishima closer, nosing his cheek.

Tsukishima tries not to tremble.

"Right?" Kuroo asks, and the teasing edge is back. Of course.

"Yes," Tsukishima whispers, huffing. A thousand times  _yes_.

"I think it makes the prospect of being boring more exciting," Kuroo says, dramatic as ever, and Tsukishima doesn't get it, but Kuroo will explain. He never fails to, and while Tsukishima doesn't understand every time, his heart does. It swells. "I'm going to know everything about you, nothing new to find out, but I'm still going to want you the most."

_You bastard._

Tsukishima sometimes believes Kuroo used to be a romance novelist in another life, or perhaps he's the book itself, brought to life by magic. Otherwise, he wouldn't be able to say such ridiculous things which make Tsukishima melt in his arms, which make shivers run down his body.

Tsukishima is not Kuroo. He's not so gifted.

But he doesn't think Kuroo minds, not when Tsukishima closes his eyes and gracefully plops all his weight into Kuroo's arms, the hug so tight Kuroo can't breathe. He doesn't even try to pull away.

Well, he does, but only when he's had enough of waiting for their lips to meet. They both taste like cookie dough, and too much chocolate, because Kuroo poured more than the recipe called for. Kuroo sighs into the kiss, moving his lips slowly, until Tsukishima's are pried apart, letting him in.

The sweetness is perfect.

Especially when Kuroo stumbles, knees weak because of  _him_ , and Tsukishima's ego soars.

Kuroo's hands drift under Tsukishima's sweater, feeling each bump of his spine, and Tsukishima finally pulls away, shaking his head.

Yeah, definitely no chance of him ever getting tired of Kuroo either. That was a given though, since day one.

"Seriously?" He asks, but he's laughing, and Kuroo's grin turns into a smirk, and his fondling becomes rougher, more exaggerated.

"I just realized, getting old and boring is fine with me," Kuroo says, like he's completely innocent and in the right. Not that Tsukishima is stopping him from dragging them both to the bedroom. "But it means we have to get our... _intimate_  energy spent now while we can. Better hop to it."

Tsukishima squirms in his arms, an unconvincing protest. Kuroo's eyes are dancing with so much admiration, like Tsukishima is the best thing he's ever seen. Tsukishima  _wants_. "You act like your limbs are disintegrating as you speak-- _hey_!"

They fall unceremoniously onto the bed, kisses blending into laughs. Tsukishima guesses they can clean the kitchen up tomorrow.

Kuroo groans in false pain, the cheapest thing Tsukishima has ever heard. Thank god Kuroo isn't an actor. "It's almost too late for me, we have to hurry."

_Oh my god._

Tsukishima hits him with one of their million throw pillows, unable to stop his laughter.

He loves Kuroo, he does, and he figures it's a good a time as ever to say so.

"Even when I get boring?" Kuroo teases, nipping Tsukishima's lower lip, and the action is still unbelievably soft.

Tsukishima kisses him, slow, so he can map it out and remember this moment forever. It can be one of the stories they tell too much, when nothing is new anymore. When everything is how it should be.

Tsukishima grins, hesitation gone. "Especially then."

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Sorry for the obnoxious posting lately, I'll calm down a little (at least until Oct 4th hehe...) 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/itsloveuasshole)   
>  [Tumblr](http://its-love-u-asshole.tumblr.com/)


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